49 degrees latitude, 360 degrees attitude!

13th March 2014

Quote

Bertney’s Smurkurr
A Vroom! Vroom! Story For Early Readers

Bertney loved her new Smurkurr.
“It’s like driving a soder can!” she told Papa the day he brought it home.
At first, she wasn’t happy that her old car had to go away, but Papa said he was tired of burying bodies out by the pool and it was time to get her something safer. Bertney didn’t know what any of those words meant, so she was very sad and confused. But then she saw her tiny little special car and instantly felt better.
“First stop, Furnch fries!” she squealed as she waved both hands out the window.
While she waited for Mr. David to get in (Bertney was never allowed to be alone. Papa’s rules.) Bertney imagined herself in the drive-thru beeping at all the other cars that would surely be jealous of her Smurkurr.
“I sure wish I was so teeny-tiny,” Bertney imagined them saying. “Why I bet that Smurkurr can fit in a pocket. I’ve never been in a pocket!”
Soon, Mr. David got in, but he didn’t seem happy at all about Bertney’s Smurkurr. He liked that it couldn’t go very fast on account of he was afeared of dying, but he sure used an awful lot of cuss words about how hard it’d be to put his wiener fry in her special place with so little room.
“So no doodly-diddles?” Bertney asked while trying not to look happy. Mr. David loved his doodly-diddles.
“No doodly-diddles,” Mr. David angrily. “And I paid your Papa good money.”
Bertney didn’t like the sound of that. But she did like the sound of the drive-thru window opening up for milkshakes! This was the bestest day ever.
“I love you, Smurkurr.”

THE END

This writer is a genius.

Tagged: celebritycelebmediawtfwords

31st January 2014

Photoset reblogged from with 442,709 notes

leonardodicrapio:

Leonardo DiCaprio gets attacked by a penguin during a trip to Antarctica in 2006

Sweet jesus how I love this. Penguin is all “Mission Accomplished, Tango Down”

Tagged: celebwtf

Source: leonardodicrapio

23rd January 2014

Link

Anna Chapman dresses: the biggest shock is they're actually quite good →

Anna Chapman revisits Butterick patterns from the late 60’s. I bet if I can find an 80 year old seamstress, she’ll recognize the exact patterns.

Tagged: fashioncelebspies

23rd January 2014

Photo reblogged from Showbiz Imagery and Chicanery with 1 note

oldshowbiz:

Dear Walter Winchell, I Loathe Lucy.

That commie pinko

oldshowbiz:

Dear Walter Winchell, I Loathe Lucy.

That commie pinko

Tagged: capitalismCold Warceleb

19th January 2014

Photo

Sherlock’s fall - Imgur

Pretty great stuff.

Sherlock’s fall - Imgur

Pretty great stuff.

Tagged: sherlockceleb

18th January 2014

Photo

http://gawker.com/english-motherfucker-do-you-speak-it-1503778252

http://gawker.com/english-motherfucker-do-you-speak-it-1503778252

Tagged: gifwtfsharksceleb

15th January 2014

Photo reblogged from We Had Faces Then with 2,812 notes

wehadfacesthen:

Marlene Dietrich takes a bow, 1962

wehadfacesthen:

Marlene Dietrich takes a bow, 1962

Tagged: fashionceleb

4th January 2014

Photo reblogged from Space Ghost Zombie with 657 notes

When dating sites get it SERIOUSLY wrong.

When dating sites get it SERIOUSLY wrong.

Tagged: datingcelebwtfsuperheroes

20th December 2013

Photoset reblogged from " AH WASH MUHSELF WITH A RAAAG ON A STICK" with 3,102 notes

I guess the only jewels of my life were the pictures I made with Fred Astaire. - Rita Hayworth

Tagged: moviesceleb

Source: fredastairemovies

4th December 2013

Photoset reblogged from flavorpill with 410 notes

flavorpill:

Vintage Photos of Pop Culture Icons in Drag on Flavorwire

Tagged: celebdragfashion

4th December 2013

Photo reblogged from with 305 notes

gif-weenus:

me blogging

gif-weenus:

me blogging

Tagged: celebfashion

25th November 2013

Photo reblogged from Shodan's Server with 925 notes

turbocunt:

stephen I <3 u

turbocunt:

stephen I <3 u

Tagged: bullyingceleb

Source: memewhore

25th November 2013

Photo reblogged from Les Beehive with 151 notes

lesbeehive:

Les Beehive – Unintentional Art in Celebrity Candids

lesbeehive:

Les Beehive – Unintentional Art in Celebrity Candids

Tagged: celebart

25th November 2013

Photo reblogged from TMZ tumblr with 2,794 notes

tmz:

Twerk-key.

tmz:

Twerk-key.

Tagged: gifceleb

22nd November 2013

Photo reblogged from Showbiz Imagery and Chicanery with 9 notes

oldshowbiz:

JERRY LEWIS AT THE COPA

Well, and Dino too!

oldshowbiz:

JERRY LEWIS AT THE COPA

Well, and Dino too!

Tagged: celebvintage