THE GONZO AWARDS™ 2012 ULTIMATE DERP LIST
Thanks for defining “DERP” and “Potato”, Ron, also “Onion”.
Your half-million $ DERP & tinfoil-hat pseudo-journalism has LOL’d the whole ‘Net this year.
(Well, at least to all six people that paid attention to you that weren’t suing you!) LOL!
After you get treatment, I’m sure a U.K. Tabloid will give you a job le_researching crop circles & perhaps you’ll get that Alien anal-probe you’ve been hoping for all these years.
Congratulations, by being an Epic Tinfoil Fail, you finally “won” something.
You are, in a close field, 2012’s Ultimate Potato/Derpist.
File Under: Winning By Failure
See also: Tinfoil Conspiracy, Crop Circles, Glen Beck, Adderal, Pizza
2- Sue Basko
Has also re-defined “Fail in Internet Pseudo-lawyering.”
(When REAL lawyers are calling you nuts, Sue, LISTEN.)
Also, Gives new LOL meaning to the term “To File a Report”.
Also, Redefines the term: “Needs new medication”.
Addendum-de-dum-dum: Special Bonus Points for her work with “AaronSocio”, a special-needs student she adopted when he was arrested for being BAT-SHIT CRAZY.
File Under: “File a Report”, naturally.
See also: Ginger Brooks.
3- Jen Emick/AsherahResearch
Famewhoring & selling your soul for momentary e-fame DOES have its consequences. Like making this list.
Addendum: Jen: There is an operation to help handle your “J35t3r Issues.”
It’s called a “lobotomy”, please le_research ASAP. Kthx.
File under: FailSec
4- The Timeshifter
You are BY FAR the Dumbest Troll on the Internet, hands-down.
Also: You define “DERP” in several foreign languages.
You are also the reason “aspie” was coined to denote especially stupid trolls.
File Under: FailTroll
5- Kahuna//EVey “the bunny” aka “Sarah”
A) Snitching & data-mining to fuck over your “friends” is
The. Worst. Scumbaggery. Ever.
B) Sleeping with a shitpile of Anons doesn’t make you cool, it makes you a whore.
P.S. Your bullshit fools NOBODY. Said, EVERYONE.
File Under: Eat shit
See also: Sammy “The Bull” Gravano, Henry Hill,
W. Mark Felt (“Deep Throat”) & Frank Lucas (all “snitches”)
**List of “e-whores” too exhausting to compile.**
6- Lee Stranahan/Team Breitbart
Being criminally stupid is, after all, allegedly, criminal.
Plus, your Epic Hypocrisy is beyond compare.
Since Nixon’s Watergate no self-styled “team” of assholes has been more contradictory and, simply, wrongheaded and evil-mouthed, all in pursuit of the almighty dollar.
You define “Fail in (faux) “journalism”. Turds.
Breitbart died because his body refused to support his soul-less sack of flesh and just QUIT. You would do well to follow his lead and vaporize, I’m sure Fox News has openings.
Lee Stranahan gets Special Mention for being the worst Fake-Ass-Neo-Conservative soft-core porn photographer, ever.
File Under: Miscellaneous Losers, Group.
See also: Watergate, Waterloo, W.R. Hearst, Yellow Journalism
7- Dan Gordon
Because, Being an ignorant, delusional, drunken, criminally-stupid waste of bandwidth & oxygen doesn’t make you funny.
It makes you a fucking moron and one of the Internet’s Biggest Assholes.
Plus, a *Special Mention For Continuing Delusion Medal*:
Dan, you’re not a “Representative” any more. You failed. You’re OUT.
Quit pretending you’re still in office. You’re NOT, DerpTard.
You didn’t “represent” anyone but yourself while in office, now that you’re an unemployed drunken asshole quit pretending you still matter.
You don’t matter, DerpTard, and you never DID.
For Reference See: http://youtu.be/lUIYKiLvzIA
File Under: Mouth-breathing Dirtbag Loser w/Computer.
See Also: Prison sex, Lifetime Failure, Douchebag, Famewhore, E-Tard
Chronic fucktards, plus Infinite Reasons.
If NDAA “must” be legal, apply it immediately to The WBC, please.
File Under: Satan’s Favorites, 2LiveCrew, Idiocy
See also: Jim Jones/ Guyana Tragedy, Black Nikes, Alien Abductions
Indefinitely detaining anyone is just like Nazi Germany.
File Under: WTF?
See also: German National Socialist Party History 1934-1945
10- Our Politicians, Worldwide
When given the chance, 99% of you have sold us down the fucking river, EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Fuck You All Very Much.
File Under: Fail
See also: History repeating itself, “Jumping the Shark”
***Special Fail Mentions***
He proved, yet again, that one person CAN be delusional enough to really fuck up An Idea, especially when one combines a giant ego, narcissism and narcotic abuse.
Also, He added “OWOWOW!” and “Don’t taze me bro!” to ‘Netspeak.
File Under: Wasted Talent.
See also: Douchebaggery, narcissism
Fox News/Rupert Murdoch & His “Media”
Fox News has neo-Conserva-tized & tabloid-ized their brand of made-up bullshit “news” to such a degree it should now be known universally as “Faux News”.
The COMEDY SHOWS The Onion News or The Jon Stewart Show tell more actual truth than Fox News, it’s THAT pathetic & corrupt.
The entire Murdoch “news” empire has been proven to be as corrupt as any Third World Dictator, or more so. (See: Blood diamonds)
Anyone taking the “news” that “Faux News” makes up as they go along seriously, deserves the rampant paranoia that listening to their bullshit brings.
File Under: William Randolph Hearst, Yellow Journalism, Propaganda
THE GONZO AWARDS™ WINNERS LIST 2012
He didn’t snitch and owned his shit.
He could have sold out his friends & done no time. He didn’t.
That, defines “WINNER”.
2- Shm00pLOL & The Rustle League™
Agree with their brand of humor or not, their OG-style of trolling on “mainstream” social media was, to the Nth Degree, funny as fuck.
They opened a lot of “mainstream audience” eyes in 2012 to How the Internet Worked In The Beginning.
Special Mention: Shm00pLOL: For being a good guy, while playing a “bad guy” & doing it with class, style, and Epic Skills.
Plus, his & RL’s WBC gloves-off bitch-slapping was beyond compare.
You win +9000 Internets Shm00p.
The Operations #OpPedoChat #OpWestboro #OpAntiBully #OpRedRoll, and the #OpFreePalestine/Gaza and many others proved to the world that was watching that Anonymous can be, and are frequently, a change for good, and not, in most all instances, the “e-terrorists” that companies like HBGary have tried to make them out to be.
Sometimes, these days, the definition of “terrorist” seems to be the people charged with protecting us FROM “terrorists”, and that is what, it seems, we really need to watch the fuck out FOR.
4- Anyone Who Deleted Facebook/Google Accounts
Before you know it, Facebook will be telling you where you are BEFORE you get there.
Also, Deleting any Google Accounts
“Scraping” the text of your “private” emails to “better target you with marketing” is the exact same thing as breaking in to your house and searching through your things for “marketing” reasons.
Facebook and Google are the largest “legal” phishing hack ever perpetrated against innocent people, all cloaked as “gifts”.
Guess what people? NOTHING IS FREE.
Between Facebook and Google they’ll soon know more about you than your family does, if they don’t already.
Get out, before its too late.
Then, You Win.
In the past 18 months Twitter turned from a genuinely dull social networking space for people to post nauseating Instagrammed pictures of their lunch (See: Facebook) to a forum for authentic political debate & real social change, worldwide.
6- Twitter Activists
They really DO, and HAVE, made a difference.
See: @Ang3lic_War @Teelin @ERHSnicewords @Bullyville
and too many others to count.
You have made a HUGE difference in 2012, and We Thank You!
7- Any band other than Nickelback.
8- Our Parents
For putting up with our shit for many years.
(If you don’t like your parents, please transfer this to the Above List.)
9- Third World countries who produce goods at ridiculous low costs so we can stay a Disposable Society.
Gotcha! Just a little something to think about before you next buy some cheesy junk you don’t need.
Think, and don’t. Make a Difference. Be a Winner.
10- Add your own Winner.
You know I forgot someone important to you.
Add them here.
It’s been an Interesting year, 2012 has…
I wish You & Yours a safe & happy, and well thought-out 2013!