Merry Scientology Christmas!
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the org
every creature was audited, even the clams.
The PTS were locked up in RPF with care,
in hopes that the psyche would never get there.
The children were brainwashed all snug in their beds,
while visions of L Ron Hubbard danced in their heads.
And David sat on his throne, with Tom in is lap,
I can’t say what they were doing, but it wasn’t a nap.
When outside rose a noise in an enturbulating manner,
I rushed to the door to investigate this EnTheta Matter!.
Away to the window I rushed in a dash,
and swiftly closed the shutter, To hide away from the anonymous flash.
The news on the net from the recently blown
gave the lustre to truths didn’t we want known,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but an officer to put scientology ethics in on me!
With an E-meter interrogation, so lively and quick,
I knew at that moment we really are pricks!
of omites and witholds, the accusations came,
I insisted I’d done nothing wrong and called them some names
They asked If believed all those anonymous lies,
and then I was asked if I was some psychiatrist’s spy
I was even asked if I contacted a friend who’d just blew,
Could it be, that the claims of the protesters are true?
And then, a twinkling, I saw in their eyes
the needle was floating much to my surprise
I was all just because those anons were around,
Their suppression had sent our stats cascading down.
Now for a pause from this holiday rhyme
That’s all I’ve got done and I’m a bit short on time
I’ve done my part, as much as I can do.
If you want it finished that last five paragraphs are up to you…